Question: What’s different about tantric sex?
BA, Tantrics say this: Sex brought you life, so it can also bring you realization of the nature of life and embodied consciousness…
But sex, like anything powerful, can divides people as often as give them experience of Oneness.
So how does a tantric approach sex?
Imagine for a moment completely dissolving your sexual pre-conceptions, attachments, and emotions in the act of making love, so you could only feel the sensations of that moment.
Imagine focusing on feeling attraction flowing between you both. Imagine feeling everything like liquid plasma, and feeling sex and love as one union of two people, instead of two people trying independently for some unreachable pleasure.
In bed, people regularly reduce their lover to the instrument of their pleasure, (or, on the flipside, the object of their aggravation and sexual disappointment).
In tantric sex, instead of focusing on the division between you, you focus on the two of you as one awareness — one awareness of pleasure, of sensation, of consciousness.
Do this by making love out of sensory exploration…
Fall out of sexual habits of position, motion, and breath… habits won’t give you what you want… dissolving yourself will.
If you need to, slow down your breathing, motion, and thoughts to the point where everything feels dreamlike. You will feel more pleasure as your nerve endings open up. Do this without affectation or expectation. Be aware, as if you were an infant experiencing the sensations of the world for the first time.
Feel and amplify your attraction to your partner, and then give it back! Don’t covet your lover, instead become aware that you already have everything you need within you, that fulfillment is emerging within you not without, that play will bring you more than objectification.
Be aware of the sensations and presence of your lover, receive, amplify, and subtly offer back the same feelings, be they touch, sensation, or emotion!
Transform your intent into greater subtlety, sensation and awareness of yourself and your lover.
This attitude, and not any one technique, is the start of real tantric union. Bring your awareness to each thing about your lover that you admire and desire, amplify the sensation, and then give the amplified feeling back.
Even if you are single, you will regularly explore this attitude in your daydreams and find it makes a big difference later in the bedroom…
Smile, breathe right, and keep your tongue up!